Well, my Saturday night with Carey seemed to me that it was coming to a pleasant end around 2:30 a.m. when I got a call from my favorite go go dancer and hopped a taxi for home. But in some ways the night was just beginning.
Me and my girl arrived at my home, and as she got out of the taxi, the driver said something sarcastic about me bringing her home, and gave me a snide smirk in the mirror as he gave me my change. I didn’t like what he said or the look on his face, and I told him to apologize.
He didn’t, so I sat in the car stubbornly insisting on not getting out till he apologized. Well, this went on for about 90 seconds. It was silly, but harmless… a bit of posturing that amounted to nothing really.
Finally the driver decided to break the standoff. He hopped out of the taxi and came round the front of the cab to get me out of the car.
And here’s where things got strange.
I figured that this was the point to retire from the game, so I hopped out the open door and circled round the back of the cab to stay away from the driver… didn’t need any physical altercation, plus my girl was waiting to shower and spread her legs for me.
Now, at my apartment building, there are two security guards on duty overnight, every night.
For reasons that I’ll never be completely sure of, one of the two security guards grabbed me as I circled the cab away from the driver. He later claimed that he thought I was chasing the driver rather than fleeing. Personally, I think that’s crap. Without his intervention at this point, within 10 seconds I would have grabbed my girl and gone inside, while the taxi driver was on the far side of the cab.
Instead, I shook loose from the guard’s grip.
This is where things went badly wrong.
First of all, I lost my balance and fell against the taxi, damaging the side view mirror and the radio antenna. More significant – to me at least – was that the second security guard appeared with a police baton, and took a swing at my head.
At my fucking head!
Fortunately he wasn’t trained in the use of the weapon, and I saw it coming. I caught the baton in my hand, though it did make some contact with my face, leaving bruises on my cheek and nose for several days after.
I held the baton in my hand, but looking down at the guard who was about 8 inches shorter than me, half my weight and half my age, I could see the fear in his eyes. He looked like he expected me to take the baton from him (which I could have easily done) and beaten him to death with it.
The thought did cross my mind.
But I’m not a violent fellow. Loud, yes. Stubborn, obnoxious, quick tempered? Guilty as charged. Do I exercise bad judgement? Sure, sometimes.
This was one of those times. I absolutely lost it with this guy. I started screaming at him in English – a language he doesn’t speak – telling him to put the damn baton away before it caused him to get hurt, and saying shit like, “Goddamnit, you work for me… you should have been stopping the fucking cab driver, not swinging a fucking baton at my head!”
The fact that he refused to put the baton away just kept me angry, and I bellowed at him for a good long while.
Of course, it woke the neighbors. All of them.
At three in the morning.
My landlord lives nearby. He and his wife showed up to see what was going on. When I told him that his security guard had tried to break my head open with a baton for no reason, instead of saying “What! That’s terrible… I’m sorry. I’ll take care of it right away” the asshole landlord said, “Calm down, it’s okay.”
My response? “It fucking well is NOT okay! What the hell are you gonna do about this?!” I demanded.
Well, without a transcript, I can only say that things went on in this vein for a while. Finally the cops showed up.
Rule #1 in Bangkok: As a farang, you’re always wrong, so just pay off the police and never let them take you back to the station.
Me? I did the opposite. I bullied the cop when he arrived, insisting he arrest the security guard for assault. When the cops tried to put me in an isolated area I bulled past them to stand where I wanted to. When the landlord played the security tapes for the cops I pushed my way into the room.
I insisted on going to the police station to file a complaint.
So, at 4 a.m. I was invited to get into one of a half dozen or so police cars along with the security guards, the landlord and my girl.
I won’t try to give a play by play of the two hours or so we spent at the police station. The tough part was that, while I can order food and give taxi drivers directions in Thai, my language skills are not up to answering questions from cops who speak no English. My landlord acted as a translator. My Thai is good enough to know that his translations were accurate.
The key issue came down to what the security guards thought was going on. The first guard said he thought I was chasing the taxi driver, not the other way around. That’s why he grabbed me.
The second guy says I put my elbow into the first guard’s face to get away from him. (I may well have… I wasn’t aware of it, but I did get away from him pretty quickly, so my elbow may well have hit him in the face). The second guard says that when he saw this happen, he thought that I was getting violent, so he came after me with the baton.
Nobody really seemed to comment on the fact that a baton isn’t really intended to subdue a person by cracking the guy’s skull, but that was a minor point.
Here’s where I want to say something very positive about the Thai cops who handled this whole situation. They had to spend about two hours with a group of angry tired people in the wee hours of the morning.
Based on everything everyone writes on the internet about Thai cops and farang, I expected to be threatened, bullied and asked to fork over a wad of cash before I could go home.
Hardly. The cop in charge was polite and professional. When I acted aggressively toward him he simply ignored me. He asked good questions and listened to me and everyone else who had something to say. He asked me what I wanted to do at every step, and never did anything out of line.
In the end, he pointed out that the two guards were saying that I was chasing the taxi driver, and that they both thought I was getting violent. I know that both of these things were wrong – I was moving away from the taxi driver so I could go inside, and without the interference from the guards the disagreement with the taxi driver would have been over in seconds. But for the cops it was two Thai guys with one story and me with another. (The taxi driver’s version agreed with mine… he stated that he got out of the cab to come pull me out of the back).
The cop looked at me, and asked if I wanted to insist on pressing charges in the face of this evidence. (By the way, in spite of having about two dozen cameras in the CCTV system, the film showed the taxi driver coming after me and me getting out of the cab to get away, but the altercation with the guards and the damage to the taxi happened on the far side of the cab and wasn’t captured by the cameras, so it was an I-said-they-said scenario).
By this time I’d been awake about 24 hours. I was sleepy, the anger was wearing off and the adrenalin was dissipating. I finally shrugged and agreed to let things with the guard drop.
The cop reminded me that there was still the matter of the damage to the cab and asked politely if I was willing to pay. I asked how much we were talking about.
The cop called the cab driver in and asked him how much. The driver started to tell a story and the cop cut in sharply and told him to just give a number. The driver stuttered, then said that 1,500 baht would be okay.
I accepted immediately and handed over the cash.
A police officer wrote up a three-paragraph statement by hand. It was in Thai and I had no hope of reading it. I asked someone to translate if for me, but they just scanned it quickly and said that it was what I had told the cop.
A boy in brown handed me a pen and told me to sign the statement. What the hell. I signed.
Finally it was time to go.
No bullying tactics by the cops. No bribes offered or asked for. The 1500 baht for the damage to the car was not an over-the-top amount for a broken mirror and antenna, and I paid it directly to the driver. The cop in charge was, as I said above, polite, professional and in total control of the situation.
Could I have avoided the situation by being less confrontational? Absolutely.
What would I do in the same situation?
Well, I wouldn’t argue with the driver over the same petty matter. That was just stupid, and of course, it was the initial cause of all the problems that followed.
But I would react just as angrily and loudly to the attack by the security guard if it were repeated. He was wrong, and his use of force was all out of proportion to the situation, which was more silly than threatening. My only real regret there is that fatigue finally won out and I gave up on the idea of pressing charges against the little punk.
The cop told the taxi driver to take me and my girl home. We walked outside with him, then told him to go on. We flagged another meter taxi and the driver who’d been at the cop shop with us for a couple of hours looked relieved not to have to get back in his car with us.
My girl and I arrived home after the sun came up, and fell into the bed exhausted. There was no thought of sex. Anger, frustration and exhaustion meant that all we would do for the next few hours was sleep (although I did make up for lost time when we woke up on Sunday afternoon).
The bottom line to this is that I wanted to be able to express my surprise and admiration for the professionalism of the police that handled this situation. They were great, and did an outstanding job. Even if I didn’t get the result I thought was justified, the cop went through the full process and gave me every chance to say my piece and express my thoughts about what should happen. In the end, it was I who pulled the plug and said it was over, let’s go home – not the cop.
Also, this proved to be another significant moment in the stormy relationship between me and my landlord. My relationship with him soured almost immediately after I moved into this apartment in March of this year, and it has been a series of disagreements and arguments that has left both of us frustrated and disgruntled with each other. I have had four different landlords since moving to Thailand, and this guy is the only one I have had any difficulties with. In fact, I think he’s the only landlord I’ve had trouble with in my lifetime.
But that needs to keep until the next blog, which is about being a tenant in Thailand.
Can things go wrong in Bangkok?? Sure. Especially if, like me, you have the terrible combination of a quick temper, loud mouth and stubborn personality.
But, I’m here to tell you that the horror stories that you hear about the police are not universally true. Like the horror stories that run about the scheming bar girls, my experience runs directly counter to the numerous stories and legends. In my life, what I have faced is much more innocuous and professional than the legendary horror stories about the Bangkok Police.
I was actually very impressed with the Boys in Brown while I was being interviewed at the Cop Shop.
25 responses so far ↓
Tark // Friday, 14 November 2008 at 8:58 am |
Glad you didn’t get clocked in the head. I think like all negative Thai stories you read about on the web, you never hear about the positive ones, so you get a biased view.
The landlord and security staff sound like a bunch of muppets, dunno If I’d continue living there.
swampthing // Friday, 14 November 2008 at 9:26 am |
lucky lucky.
Seems like your girl stuck by you though, which is ironic considering you ruthlessly dumped the other one at the taxi before. That’s karma, my fiend…
// Friday, 14 November 2008 at 9:51 am |
I think this is the point when a Westerner in Thailand realizes they can’t fight the Thai system with logic or fairness because there is none.
As soon as the Thai police know you’re at a disadvantage, drunk or in a scuffle, it’s their chance to make money. This also applies to some dodgy Thai bars (run by Westerners no less) and to all the bars in Pattaya.
The police have all the power in Thailand and can do anything they want. Two years ago I lived in Novel Place in Areesamphan 1, a small apartment/hotel in a very upmarket area. It’s also a well-known second-residence for the police and their ‘meeanoi”. One policeman lived a few doors down from me, gets blind drunk every night, and then his Uni girlfriend leaves him. At this point he gets into the habit of firing rounds from his pistol in the early hours – literally drawing crowds of several hundred people looking up at the apartment. It’s pretty scary.
When it first happened, I ask reception the following morning what’s going on and they say it’s a motorcycle backfiring. When it happens again they say it’s kids messing around outside. All these lies because they’re scared of the police.
It took three months before the owner managed to get the guy to leave.
The police are involved in countless crimes in Thailand, from illegal lotteries to drugs to underage brothels outside Bangkok to mysterious disappearances to molesting (rape) of female tourists to immigration scams to pyramid schemes to collecting money on the streets – it doesn’t stop.
The fact that Thais actively support this and feign respect says a lot about Thai culture.
// Friday, 14 November 2008 at 9:59 am |
Sorry for wandering off the point! I think in this instance you found a good cop and got lucky!
Finchy // Friday, 14 November 2008 at 11:12 am |
“I think this is the point when a Westerner in Thailand realizes they can’t fight the Thai system with logic or fairness because there is none. As soon as the Thai police know you’re at a disadvantage, drunk or in a scuffle, it’s their chance to make money.” Didn’t happen in this case, and it hasn’t happened in the 3 or 4 situations where I have been been involved with the BiB either.
In the UK the outcome would have been much the same. Drunk, fairly aggressive guy makes allegation of assault, security guard makes counter-allegation. CCTV inconclusive, no independent witnesses. It would have been explained that no chance of prosecution either way as one word against the other, so both agree not to press charges and go on your way, or both sit in the cells all night to be interviewed in the morning and then released without charge. The cop was pretty fair in my opinion. In the UK the security guard would probably be done for possessing an offensive weapon though.
I would be having pretty strong words with the building owners asking wtf people paid to protect me are assaulting me.
gavinmac // Friday, 14 November 2008 at 1:53 pm |
Aaah, the story emerges. Very entertaining. And you kept your mobile phone. Well done.
John Brown // Friday, 14 November 2008 at 5:00 pm |
I dunno WW, I think a simple “fuck off” to the taxi driver and a hard door slam would be just desserts enough in a case like this…
But, then again, I have the benefits of (1) being sober, (2) looking in hindsight, and (3) not moments away (and being testosteroned up) from slamming (sorry, sexercising) with one of my favorites….
So, what’s the point? Nobody likes a Monday morning armchair quarterback!
Great story!
// Friday, 14 November 2008 at 5:30 pm |
As Gavinmac says, good to hear you didn’t lose another mobile.
I have one of those reactions once every blue moon. Even though common sense says not to push things you push until everything is out of control. Glad to hear it eventually worked out and that you got to see the BIB at their finest instead of their worst.
angryrishman // Friday, 14 November 2008 at 9:47 pm |
Dear Mr. WW, you were drunk on your butt. Your perception was no doubt goggled up. You are very lucky you did not get a beating from SOMEONE. Perhaps if you memorize in advance “I will not beef with anyone when I am drunk” things will go better in the future. BTW, this behavior would get you tasered or worse on Maui. Your problems seem to multiply early in the morning. As for your date’s honor, she doesn’t have any among Thais. She is very likely from the same low class as the taxi driver. Let her deal with any “disrespect” or just get out of the taxi in mid-trip and get another. I very much enjoy your blogs. Thanx. AI
Ron // Saturday, 15 November 2008 at 8:36 pm |
aahhh! Now I understand!
fuck man I’m very glad you had the witts to catch that baton or we may not be having this time together. @Mark, any time you have a group in an authority position we all must have faith in those individuals that they exercise that authority in agreement with societal norms. Unfortunately that group is composed of ordinary, self serving and preserving people just like you and me! I personally don’t like law enforcement but do recognise their intended function and need. Is it really that different in Thailand vrs. the West? I have a friend right now going through some nasty shit over a routine traffic stop that turned bad (probably) due to his big mouth. To keep it short, 4 months later and >$20,000.00 in lawyer fees he now faces a felony conviction, loss of about $8000 worth of personal property that was confiscated, and disciplinary action from the California State Board of Registered Nurses ( and possible revoking of his RN license) all stemming from a simple speeding ticket! So if offered at the time he had the option to pay a mere 1000THB and be on his way, I’m certain he would have opted for the latter? At the end of the day don’t we all have so much more responsibility for our end game results than we’re claiming? WW pointed this out quite clearly, and if in another country or system of laws and customs things probably would have played to a like result. If things are so fucked up why do we continue to choose to patronize such a system, anywhere?
// Monday, 17 November 2008 at 12:58 am |
AI
I’m not sure how you determined that. I did say I’d had some drinks on the night. Don’t remember saying I was drunk on my butt.
I’m 48 years old and have never gotten a beating from ANYONE. I have administered one or two in my time.
dunno what Maui has to do with the story, but thanks for sharing.
She has honor with me. That’s really the only thing that matters.
There’s probably no quicker way to lose my interest or attention than to talk about “low” class and “upper” class.
The girl is my friend.
She is interesting, entertaining, funny, intelligent, attractive and motivated. Nothing low class about that.
She also stayed with me through all that followed, though she certainly didn’t need to. I pressed some money in her hand when the shit started and told her to go home. She refused, and stayed with me throughout the police station and the next day. Definitely a fine person in my books.
Let’s not hear any more about her being “low” class or having no honor. You’re talking about one of my best friends.
I’ll deal with disrespect from anyone, anywhere and anytime I want to.
I did say in the body of the blog that faced with the same situation again I wouldn’t have bothered wtih the taxi driver because it was such a silly sort of thing, but all I really did was SIT in the cab for 90 seconds or so… not really very aggressive posturing.
Funny that you think my problems all develop if I’ve had drinks or when it’s after midnight. Probably the most aggressive confrontation I’ve had in the past year was completely sober at noon on a Saturday.
I admit to being loud, stubborn and confrontational. That’s unlikely to change. It’s kind of who I am. Makes for lively stories in any event.
I probably wouldn’t have even written this story on the blog just for the sake of telling what happened with the driver or the security guard, which was pretty mundane.
I had two reasons — one was to tell the “good news” of how professionally the Boys in Brown acted. I think that there is a caricature of them on the internet that isn’t strictly true, and a factual account of their professionalism was worth writing. Couldn’t talk about the cops without telling the story of the altercation.
The second reason lies in the fallout from the incident with my landlord, which will be the subject of the next blog.
I just got back from three days at Koh Samet with the same girl who was present in the taxi with me on the night described above. We had a great time. That’ll be the second blog coming this week.
I’m glad you enjoy the blogs. If you keep reading them I’ll keep writing them.
Kilgore Trout // Monday, 17 November 2008 at 6:43 am |
It’s us againt them. Thai security guards and cops will always side with Thais.
The taxi driver threatened you and the (your)guards attacked you but…. you end up paying! Typical.
paraquat // Monday, 17 November 2008 at 7:01 am |
WW, it is easy to pass judgement on you and the stuff you experience (like AngryIrishman did), only because you are so bluntly honest about it. I like that, especially when you come back with a reaction such like your last post! Well done, I’ll keep reading!
Heads up!
P.
Finchy // Monday, 17 November 2008 at 11:36 am |
@Kilgore Trout. The taxi driver didn’t threaten him, he made a snotty comment to WW’s friend, then got out of the car to remove him when WW refused to get out of his car.
The cop didn’t side with the security guards either, he explained what was being alleged, and what (lack of) corroborating evidence there was, and still offered WW the chance to press charges, which he turned down.
He had to pay for the damage to the car, but he did say he fell into it, and the cop asked him if he was willing to pay for the damage, he didn’t demand it. WW decided to pay up rather than argue more. The cop even ordered the taxi driver to take them home.
Don’t quite see how all that adds up to “It’s us against them”
// Tuesday, 18 November 2008 at 5:17 am |
I always keep my guard up when dealing with Bangkok taxi drivers. About 95.7% of the drivers are fine, but the rest are unpredictable at best. I think the percentage goes up early in the AM.
WW: Another great entry about “life and times” living in Bangkok. Always entertaining prose.
My personal favorite BiB:
MSB // Tuesday, 18 November 2008 at 10:21 am |
This is a good argument for not learning Thai. I am sure that over the years I have lived here many taxi drivers and others have said something to or about me that is sarcastic/disrespectful etc. However I make no attempt to engage them in any sort of conversation or acknowledge them at all so they become irrelevant to me.
Naki // Tuesday, 18 November 2008 at 5:06 pm |
If I get pissed off with a taxi driver I just get out of the rear left side after paying, leave the door open and walk away. He has to get out and walk around to close the door.
Minor thing I know, but for some reason it does make me feel better knowing I’ve at least got him off his butt.
I’m amazed at your patience WW. If it was me I probably would’ve got the missus to arrange a couple of the rellies from up country to come and “sort out” the security guard
Being a tenant in Thailand « RAWBangkok // Wednesday, 19 November 2008 at 3:40 am |
[...] RAW Q&A ← Going to the Cop Shop [...]
angryirishman // Thursday, 20 November 2008 at 4:32 am |
Dear WW,
angryirishman // Thursday, 20 November 2008 at 4:38 am |
Dear WW,
I do love your blogs. Hope you didn’t take my comments badly. It’s just that if you spend enough time confronting guys with bats and falling into sewers, eventually the results will be unfortunate. I hope you keep blogging a long time. I must also commend you on the honesty of your blog – many people might leave the bad stuff out. What you do to yourself is your business. However, in my line of work, I see many senseless acts of extreme violence toward people who could and should have walked away. I still say just walk away. Keep up your blogging, it is actually quite wonderful in its frankness and detail as to real happenings. Thanx. No offense intended. AI
// Thursday, 20 November 2008 at 7:33 am |
AI: Life’s okay.
Next blog is about a relaxing three-day, two-night holiday to Koh Samed last weekend… no sewers or angry confrontations; just warm water and white sands.
Cheers,
WW
Pants Elk // Thursday, 20 November 2008 at 10:41 am |
WW: Good to hear something good about the BiB. I’ve got a temper, too, and I hate myself after the thankfully rare occasions I lose it. It *never* does any good, never never, and although I get some release from the tension, the effect it has on others just makes it seem like the toddler’s tantrum selfishness it is. It’s always when I think I’ve been insulted, too. Self control under certain conditions seems impossible, so it’s best to spot the warning signs and prevent those conditions from happening. Not easy. My second marriage was six years of this crap.
naki: I’ve done that cab door trick, too. Works like a charm, plus you get to walk away being “one up” in a totally harmless way.
// Thursday, 20 November 2008 at 10:57 am |
Pants: Great to hear from you!
I still have the 10th of December circtled in red on my calendar… are we still on for a tall cold glass of sparkling water?
Feel free to touch base via rawbangkok@gmail.com
We can sit around trading old Penfold stories.
Cheers,
WW
Whatever // Sunday, 23 November 2008 at 4:32 pm |
Quite stupid what you did! And your lucky. Next time the taxidriver will have a swing at you and when you hit back all Thais that see you join in the melee. You will loose always. Like you lost now, despite your praise of the Thai police, your the only looser in this story, pathetic.
// Monday, 24 November 2008 at 3:46 am |
Whatever:
Get a dictionary… “loser” not “looser”; “lose” not “loose”.
I sat in a taxi for a minute and a half. Big fucking deal.
I tire rapidly of people telling me what will happen “next time” and just how lucky I am. Someone did take a swing at me this time… I took the fucking stick away from him.
I’ve had a taxi driver take a swing at me last year when he didn’t want to drive in traffic and wanted to put me out in a driving rainstorm and I refused. I took the fucking stick away from that asshole too.
Apparently you are a weak son of a bitch who can’t take care of yourself… Don’t project that shit onto me. Learn to take care of yourself so you can stop being afraid.
Don’t whine so much… learn to be a man you pussy!