RAWBangkok

Back in July I wrote a blog about a girl I called “Lek the ‘tweener”.  She’s an interesting girl insofar as she is a prototype for an entire class of Thai women that exist here in Bangkok.  They are NOT Pay-4-Play girls, yet they are intensely interested in Westerners.  They usually have no interest at all in gettting involved with Thai men, and emphatically won’t have a Thai boyfriend in the background.

These girls usually spend a fair amount of time polishing their English skills, and then go where the farang are, which often means being in farang-oriented bars, either as an employee or as a customer.  In my experience they often grab onto a Western boyfriend and move in with him, at least for a while.  They will, if given the opportunity, travel overseas.

The idea of the ‘tweener is that she is caught somewhere in the middle between the world of P4P hookers and Thai “good” girls.  She is probably much more active sexally, and often reliant on money that she gets from her boyfriend, or a series of men, but doesn’t believe that she is selling sex for a living.

This isn’t designed to be the definitive treatise on ‘tweeners, just a few random thoughts on the breed for those readers who have never heard the term before.

Lek is probably the best example of a ‘tweener that I know personally.  She’s approaching her use-by date, at least by Thai standards, and she’s starting to realize that.  She’s 28 years old, which means that if she doesn’t get herself sorted soon, she’s gonna be out of the market — unable to compete with the 24 year olds with a brighter smile and shinier eyes.  I’m not saying that she’ll be either on or off the barstool permanently in a couple of weeks, but three or four years from now, in her early 30’s she’ll start finding it tough to attract the bees with her honey when, on the next barstool is a girl a decade younger and perfectly legal.

Anyway, I ran into Lek in a bar last night, and spent about an hour and a half talking to her.

In my July blog I mentioned that she had planned to go to Lithuania, and the comments section of that blog is an interesting story in itself.  She eventually decided that Lithuania was a bad idea; instead she hooked up with a cruise ship line running out of Miami.

Over a 2-month period in late 2008 she went through the process of getting a visa & work permit for the US, and as autumn was taking hold in America she hopped on a jumbo jet to the land of the free and the home of the brave.  A ‘tweener working on an American cruise ship!  I figured that had to be the jackpot, and that I’d seen the last of Lek.

I was surprised, therefore, to run into her in a Bangkok bar around Christmastime.  I guess she’d gone to the US for about 60 days, returning to Bangkok in a hurry, offering only the idea that “the work was too hard” as her only vague explanation.

As an aside, a week or so after seeing her in December I was talking to a friend of hers who is a bit of a ‘tweener herself, though less mercenary, and I asked her why she, herself, didn’t take a shot at the cruise ships.  Perhaps tellingly, she mentioned only two reasons.  First, she is prone to seasickness.  Second, she mentioned that when you’re working on a cruise ship you aren’t allowed to have sex with the passengers — information I assume must have come from Lek. It seemed significant for being mentioned as a reason NOT to work on a cruise ship.  For a ‘tweener, the opportunity to meet and marry a farang is often the entire raison d’etre.

At any rate, Lek was back in Bangkok, and I was surprised, on that December evening, to learn that she was already shacked up with a Westerner.  I met him… he was sitting on the barstool next to Lek.  His story — where he comes from, where he has worked and what he does — is unique enough that providing any details would identify him immediately.  Suffice to say, he was a moderately successful guy from Europe.  They actually seemed well-matched, and though I’d seen Lek on the arm of probably a dozen different guys in 18 months or so, I thought that this guy had a good chance of sticking.

I saw them together once or twice around the New Year period.  They were both happy and talkative.

Last night I walked into a bar and spotted Lek sitting alone.  She saw me and called out, “Werewolf!  Nice to see you baby!”

She gave me a big hug.  This is a bit unusual and my first hint that she was probably already a bit tipsy.  I sat down with her and she said immediately that she was happy to have some company, as she’d been there alone for an hour and a half.   Apparently her boyfriend was suppposed to meet her but he was running late.

As we chatted, she mentioned that she plans to move at the end of the month… about a ten days from now.  She said that she and her boyfriend were gonna split and go different directions, which I admit, surprised me a little.

I asked if there’d been a problem.  “No, no real problem… just the ‘feeling’ isn’t the same as before, you know.”

As far as I am aware they’ve been together only about three months, so this seemed a quick fading of affection, but I didn’t say so.

Our conversation turned to the question of work… if she isn’t living with her boyfriend she needs a job.  She told me that she’d been looking, so I asked her what kind of work she’s looking for.  “Anything, really… I’ll do anything.”

I flippantly offered to pay her to clean my room every week.

“No, not a maid!” she said.

I questioned her definition of “anything” but she chose to ignore me and kept talking about her job search.  In the time I have known her she has at different times been a full time student, a full time housfrau, and had several jobs working as a server/bartender, a receptionist in a condo sales office, a hostess in a nightclub and, as previously mentioned, working on a cruise ship.

I’ve never known her to stick with anything for more than a few months (except for being a student when I first met her.  I believe that gig lasted a full year).

She said she is considering “finishing” her university degree then trying to go back to America to live and work.   I was surprised at the idea that she had ever started a degree, but it turned out that she has two years of university under her belt.  She thinks she might go to Bangkok University (one of the free and ‘open’ universities here that tends to be chock full of tweeners from middle class backgrounds trying to improve themselves) to get a degree in Marketing.

As usual, her plans are vague and ever-changing.  She asked me if I could help her understand how to get a visa for the US I told her that I could refer her to someone who could — the TFS2M contributor known as the Soi Lawyer, a pleasant guy named Ben who seems to be building a nice niche market for himself here in the Land of Smiles.  (Having met Ben recently I have images of him getting very comfortable here in Bangkok.  He’s a young fella, but I can easily imagine 30 years slipping past barely noticed, while he becomes a Bangkok institution, finding himself approaching retirement in his office and on his barstool in Bangkok and wondering how he happened to stay here his entire life).

Lek perked up at this thought and asked how much I thought it would cost.  I told her I thought his services would start from about 20K baht and she visibly deflated.

In any event, she is, as always, full of plans — often contradictory plans — for the future.  Looking for a job, thinking of university, leaving her boyfriend… it’s all happening, and for Lek, it’s always all happening.

Finally her boyfriend showed up.  He joined us, and the conversation became a bit more three-way.  I have to say, had she not told me already, I’d have had no hint that things were changing between them.  I’m not sure if he realizes it or not.  From the context of the conversation I got the impression that the separation might be driven by him having some temporary overseas work commitments (three months or so).  I think he’s expecting to be living with Lek again on his return to Bangkok.  From her seemingly frank conversation with me, I don’t think that’s what she’s planning.

While the three of us were talking I asked about another girl, a friend of Lek’s who is often in the bar with her.  Lek explained that she had actually planned to be at the bar, but “had some problem”.

Taking a guess, I asked, “Is she on her period?”

“No, worse than that” said Lek.

“You mean she’s pregnant?!” I joked.

“No, much worse than that” quipped Lek.

I was stumped.  I looked at her an her boyfriend and asked “What could be worse than being pregnant?”

Lek grinned.  “She’s got no money”

I couldn’t help inquiring, “Do you think it’s worse to be broke than pregnant?”

Laughing triumphantly she announced a piece of ‘tweener wisdom, “If you have enough money, it doesn’t matter how many times you get pregnant!”

An interesting mindset.

Finally it was time to go. I paid my bill, and spent fifteen minutes or so getting out of the conversation with Lek and her guy, heading into the night and back to the comfort of my quiet room.