Not the Nation: THAI Introduces “Smooth As Silk” Fellatio Service

Saturday, 14 March 2009 · 16 Comments


I can’t take credit for this one.

Not the Nation has several new articles this week, and some had me laughing out loud.

This wasn’t the funniest, but it had the best “head”line and the best pic. I also admire any article that manages to use the word, “ingurgitation” correctly.

My favorite of the new articles was probably the one in the Weekend Update section about Panthip Plaza.  It had me rolling.

Go to the Not the Nation website and have a look ’round. It’s got some funny shit.

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Categories: General · werewolf blogs
Tagged: Not the Nation

16 responses so far ↓

  • WarCorrespondentDave // Saturday, 14 March 2009 at 3:12 am | Reply

    Wish they’d offer that on AirAsia. This one made me laugh http://notthenation.com/pages/news/getnews.php?id=196

  • swampthing // Sunday, 15 March 2009 at 5:15 am | Reply

    Actually, they do. You just have to wait til the end of the trip, that’s all. The Royal Silk Class girls make a point of checking the flight manifesto to see who’s who. (If you’re a frequent flyer, as I am, they have all your details). You go from there. For example, if you’re CEO of Ferrari, you can generally expect to make the grade and have your balls sucked dry at will. Investment bankers from JPMorgan Chase & Co, Merrill Lynch & Co. and Morgan Stanley used to be all the rage until about a year ago when they started flying cattle class. No more happy endings for them.
    Singapore’s vaunted business class is even better.
    I swear this is all true.

  • Prufrock // Sunday, 15 March 2009 at 7:24 am | Reply

    Yo Swampthing: We’re talking here about picking up bored “stews,” right ;-)

  • JustinCider // Tuesday, 17 March 2009 at 11:36 am | Reply

    really glad you are back blogging WW

    BTW – I am looking forward to hear how you lost your last phone. To quote George Costanza “Details Jerry, I NEED Details!”.

  • Werewolf // Wednesday, 18 March 2009 at 9:56 am | Reply

    My phone losses have descended below the level of the merely commonplace, and are not worth mentioning as anything more than just a footnote… and on someone else’s blog if memory serves.

    The blogs are a little thin on the ground at the moment as I’m experiencing technical difficulties with computer & modem that are taking too long to sort out.

  • MSB // Wednesday, 18 March 2009 at 12:14 pm | Reply

    Nailed the nurse yet?

  • Werewolf // Wednesday, 18 March 2009 at 1:30 pm | Reply

    She’s clearly becoming very fond of me… she’s finding ways to get 3 or 4 hours in her schedule to see me. Yesterday she worked day shift (8 to 4) and then had to return for the midnite to 8 shift, leaving her just 8 hours to eat, shower, sleep etc between shifts. She spent four of those hours going out to dinner with me (her idea) and tried to arrange time to see me today before her next midnight shift, but my work schedule didn’t allow it.

    It’s probably a good thing that she is travelling home to see her parents at the end of the week. When she gets back I have to go out of town for two weeks on business, so I am unlikely to see her until Songkran, which is about a month away.

    Last night she said she needed to be home and in bed by 8 pm, but even at 9 she seemed reluctant to leave me, lingering like a nervous school girl. I don’t plan to try to have sex with her for several months at least, and then probably only if I don’t get together with my favorite go go dancer.

    Speaking of… she called me yesterday afternoon from her mobile phone in Europe, and chatted with me for about 15 minutes. This was a first. Usually she sends me a message asking me to call her. I figured she was worried about her customer checking the phone bills. Apparently not (or perhaps not any more).

    More interesting was that she called again about 4 or 5 hours later. She’s making friends and seems to be having a good time quite apart from the customer. She assures me she is returning in about 10 weeks and that he is not coming back with her.

    She’s been touching base with me twice a week for a while, so calling me instead of sending a message, and doing it twice in a day seems to signal a shift in her thinking about earning her living again upon her return to Bangkok.

    My crazy ex-girlfriend called me last night between the calls from my favorite go go dancer. She hadn’t called me for a few weeks and I was beginning to think she’d decided that since I hadn’t called her in nearly 2 years she wasn’t gonna bother any more.

    Instead she said that she will be in Bangkok over Songkran and that she wants to see me. The last few times I saw her she’d gotten a bit chubby, and she tells me that she’s dropped about 5 kilos back to around 44 which would put her back at her ideal fighting weight.

    My favorite go go dancer also talked about weight on the phone yesterday. She told me that she’d gone from 45 kilos when she left, to 50 kilos. Being very short, at 45 kilos she was bordering on pudgy — 50 kilos would be plump to fat for her. I took it well and said some nice things about how happy and healthy she must feel.

    She laughed and said that she was just teasing me… that she was still at 45 kilos (I reckon her ídeal’ weight would be about 42… she really is quite short). So she hasn’t lost her sense of humour, but maybe I’ve lost mine.

    If you can spot a common theme, the nurse runs 45 kilos and figures that she’s pushing ‘fat’ around her middle. She seems to be on a constant diet. I haven’t seen her unclothed, but I’ve seen her in tight t-shirts (and she’s encouraged me to pinch her tummy to feel the fat) and she looks (and feels) pretty good. Maybe 43 or 44 kilos would be better.

    Any questions about what size girl attracts my attention?

    It seems that work commitments will have me travelling outside of Bangkok when my sister and my favorite go go dancer arrive in Bangkok. That’s probably a good thing, as I will get back to town about 2 or 3 days after mfggd, and about 3 days before my sister finishes her work schedule.

    So, I guess the answer to your question is, no, I haven’t nailed the nurse yet.

  • gavinmac // Wednesday, 18 March 2009 at 10:57 pm | Reply

    Thankd for the update, WW. Congratulations on the apparent progress with the nurse. Pinching her stomach. My 8 year old nephew uses that move with girls he likes. No, seriously, at this rate you should be giving her nuggies by Christmas.

    Now, on to your favorite go go dancer. When you mentioned she was coming back in ten weeks, I thought to myself “She’ll probably be huge.” Asian chicks aren’t used to fatty foods. Six months of eating fish and chips (or bratwurst, cheese, or kielbasa, I don’t remember what European country she’s in) will turn an average Thai girl into a long haired bowling ball.

    Then I read that you asked her how much she weighs now, she admitted 50 kg, then she followed it up with “just kidding.” And you apparently believe she was just kidding.

    Allow me to share some more of my wisdom about women. (Keep in mind that I’m 38 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I digress). When a man says something, followed by “just kidding,” it means, “I was joking, I made the prior comment in jest for comedic effect. ” When a woman says “just kidding,” it means “I’m embarrassed about what I just said, now I would like to pretend I didn’t happen.”

    This is particularly true of Thai girls, as was illustrated less than one month ago in the “Lek at Not the Nation” piece that you linked to here.

    If I may quote Lek:

    “OK, I go with you! Just joking. Next time.”

    So, my point is this. I think she has, in fact, ballooned up, becasue (a) that’s expected when Thia girls go to Europe, and (b) she admitted it before clumsily trying to retract her admission.

    She knows she’s not going to see you for ten weeks anyway, so that gives her ten weeks to try lose the extra five liters of fat. If she can’t, she may just mention shortly before she returns that she has recently put on weight.

    I suspect your ordinary response to my argument might be: “But I know this girl, she doesn’t lie, I know her sense of humor, etc.” Let’s skip that part. Let’s just agree that you lift hr up (if you can) and put her on your bathroom scale when she comes back, and then report if she’s over or under 48.8 kgs, which is the current over/under line here in Las Vegas.

    In the meantime, see if she’ll send you a blurry camera phone photo of herself that may shed some light on this mystery.


  • generous sponsor // Thursday, 19 March 2009 at 9:51 am | Reply

    gavin, i was thinking the same thing on the “just kidding” remark – and no girlfriend yet? you’re either incredibly insightful or grew up with a bunch of sisters. i imagine that once you finally hook up with someone, you’ll be able to write a book on the subject.

    ps belated happy birthday wishes

  • Werewolf // Thursday, 19 March 2009 at 11:43 am | Reply

    Well, there you go… on the weight thing, I didn’t ask her about her weight; she was telling me what she’d been eating (no fish&chips… mostly Thai food) and commented that she was 50 kg.

    When she gave me the ‘just kidding’ remark it was accompanied by peals of laughter at my expense for my serious response to her pronouncement. Yes, I know her, and I know her tones of voice, etc. This was a genuine leg-pulling exercise.

    As for the childish antics with the nurse (pinching her stomach) I report them as a way of illustrating how innocent, childlike and — oh, I dunno… modest.. regular Thai girls can be. She flirts with me the way girls flirted with me in high school. I don’t think she can even conceive of something like Soi Cowboy.

    The idea that “all Thai girls are hookers” or similar concepts that get tossed around on the internet simply flies in the face of the reality I see every day in my work, where I am in daily contact with ‘regular’ Thai people. They are, for the most part, gentle, generous, polite, reverent… and all the adjectives I learned back in boy scouts. I certainly don’t offer it up as evidence of my “game” if anyone has the idea that I’m trying to create a ‘how to’ manual for laying a Thai girl.

    I am really sort of filling time till my favorite go go dancer gets back; I’m not trying to get in the nurse’s pants. Now I’m feeling a bit guilty because she seems to be genuinely fond of me.

    Anyway, both “relationships” are a bit stupid. Never write your own blog if you’re gonna start making idiotic decisions about your life and then write about them.

    I have no real plan, and no real idea where this is going.

    I’m an idiot.

  • John Brown // Thursday, 19 March 2009 at 12:13 pm | Reply

    Every see “Along Came Polly” with Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston?

    Quote: “You do have a plan… you’re on the non-plan plan!”

  • MSB // Thursday, 19 March 2009 at 5:43 pm | Reply

    Your not an idiot, just sound confused. Get down to pattaya for a couple of days and bounce up soi 6. That will sort you out. That’s what I do when the market is crap. Which is has a lot recently.

  • gavinmac // Thursday, 19 March 2009 at 9:43 pm | Reply

    “Now I’m feeling a bit guilty because she seems to be genuinely fond of me.”

    Don’t worry about this. She’s obviously just delusional from the chronic lack of sleep.

    You’re not an idiot. Yet. If you screw things up with nurse because you want to rekindle your paid sex relationship with the go go dancer, that will make you an idiot.

    You’re getting old. You drink. Your body is breaking down. You’re going to need a nurse. They are hard to come by. You can always find another young, cute, likeable go go dancer or prostitute if you need to. You are less likely to find another young, cute, likeable nurse. Especially one who is interested in you.

    On December 12, I commented that it sounded like the ggd was becoming your gf, and you shot that down, pointing out that you were just one of her many customers, and not even the most important one. Listen to the December 12 Werewolf. He is a smart guy.

    Remember, you can teach the nurse to give you a good blow job one day. It’s a lot harder to teach the go go dancer how to perform CPR on you when you have a sudden heart attack at the dinner table at 53.

    Go with the nurse.

  • carey // Friday, 20 March 2009 at 5:19 am | Reply

    guys this is thailand … how about he goes with both of them!!!

  • gavinmac // Friday, 20 March 2009 at 9:51 am | Reply

    Werewolf with both of them? Are you nuts? The man can never even keep track of his cell phone and his ATM card at the same time.

  • poop // Thursday, 26 March 2009 at 10:22 pm | Reply

    so has ww

    a) fallen into a sewer?
    b) fallen off a motorsai?
    c) fallen in love with a nurse?
    d) fallen out of friends with YP?
    e) fallen out of love with blogging?

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